First, let me say that I am very, very sorry to have to do another post about toilets. I know it's not the first, but I promise* it will be the last!

I'm living in a two toilet world, and neither one is good.

Our home toilet is the cheapo, late 90's Super-Water-Saver Econo-John. It doesn't so much flush as it gently and momentarily ripples, like the beautiful ripple on a calm lake when an autum leaf falls. One "flush" does not work. Two or three maybe. And I have kids, which means that a couple times a week the thing gets jammed with giant wads of toilet paper. SuperDad with the plunger to the rescue once again.

Then, at work, there's the space-age-mega-pressure ultra-flush. I don't know what kind of jet propulsion system NASA had to develop for this restroom rocket, but when it goes off (which is itself top-secret. You have no control. It flushes when IT wants to, darnit!) it sounds like you are inside the engine of a 747. And now, the gross part: You actually have to jump back away from it to avoid being splashed by the F-6 scale tornado of disgusting water that sprays out. And to avoid being sucked in! Ever wonder happens when deejays suddenly disappear? Now you know.

*not actual promise