Beloved American Icon Tina Turner confirms that she is giving up her American citizenship to become, are you ready? SWISS!  She says "I'm very happy in Switzerland and I feel at home here."

Why, Tina, why!  Was it the lure of Swiss cheese? Or the army knives?  We can get those here, you know! Or did we do something to make you mad? Was it Ike? He's dead now, right?  Please, Tina, come back!