Couples therapistDr. Lauren Cookexplains the words she loves to hear partners use and the ones she wishes they would avoid.
- Embrace âcanâ and âwouldâ- Dr. Cook says using these words shows âa level of intentionality and care rather than assumption.â Asking your S.O. âCan we afford this with our budget goals in mind?â isnât about asking for permission, itâs showing thoughtfulness and creating more openness, so you feel like youâre working as a team.
- Avoid âshouldâ- And on the flip side, the word âshouldâ brings up perceived judgements or comparisons. Saying âWe should have a bigger house by nowâ sends a message that theyâre inferior. Dr. Cook points out that the word âshouldâ doesnât instill confidence in a relationship.
- Steer clear of âhateâ- Obviously, if youâre yelling âI hate you!â at your partner, thereâs trouble in the relationship, but even using this strong language in little ways, like âI hate this foodâ can bring hostility. When you need to express frustration, anger, or disappointment, Dr. Cook suggests challenging yourself to be mindful of caustic words of negativity and complaints in your relationship.
Source:PureWow